Body and Mind – In Harmony or in Conflict

A detail from Michelangelo's statue of David/

A detail from Michelangelo’s statue of David/

It’s not working the way it should! It used to be longer and harder. What the #%&#@ is wrong with me? It’s one thing to be flaccid as the day goes on, but what about when I am trying to make love to a person I love?

There is something about erections that is vital to a man’s psyche. An erection is associated with virility, and virility was what separated men from boys. When the erections disappear, males suffer a loss of identity as a virile man. Either the male needs to redefine what it is that makes him a man, recreate himself, or he may lapse into a depression of sorts if nothing else can become the focus of his manliness. Without erections, he feels neutered, a eunuch.

Sculpture in the Round Erotica Stone House of the Vettii Italy Sculpture of a man with erect phallus Mulas, Eros in Antiquity,

Sculpture in the Round Erotica Stone House of the Vettii Italy Sculpture of a man with erect phallus – Mulas, Eros in Antiquity – Pompeii

With the modern world challenging the whole notion of the masculine, often viewing the masculine in negative and primal terms, men know that they are men in spite of what they hear from the world. The erect penis is the enemy as it is the erect penis that has raped women, has subjugated women. This symbol of power for men is a symbol of domination by men for women. That said . . .

In so many couple relationships in the modern world, the man follows the woman. She leads, and she leads with the knowledge of her power, especially over a man’s sexuality. With a few words or even a “look” she can deflate a man’s ego and his penis.

Perhaps this is why we now have so many men taking photos of their penis, especially an erect penis. Those images are not necessarily shared. Sometimes they are just there, in the background in an archive of photos as proof that in spite of what happens in the moment, they know that deep down they are men.

2 thoughts on “Body and Mind – In Harmony or in Conflict

  1. Thought provoking article. I would agree with you that our penises represent virility; therefore, our personal power. Like any power, it can be used for good or for evil. For centuries, in most societies, women found that power attractive in a man, and they used it as a selection criteria for a mate. In today’s emasculated male world, men are taught that they should not exercise their power, and we have all sorts of terms for it such as sexism, micro-/macro-aggressions, and patriarchal (which never use to have negative connotations). The penis represents that masculinity and power so it is deemed bad as well. I for one will not let our masculinity fade into the obscurity of history.

    As a naturist/nudist, I was always amazed that the “dick pic” phenomenon. I always chocked it up to the fact that males are more comfortable with our nudity and even a bit of exhibitionists. I think that your explanation of power is probably a greater factor for this craze. I think sending “dick pics” is classless and crude unless a woman asks for one. This behavior may be due to the fact that there are many males not able to properly express their power in society and sending a “dick pic” may be their outlet. I think you may have stumbled onto something here.

    Reading your article reminded me of a conversation I had with a woman Friday night. She was extremely attractive and we were in a comfortable social setting having a discussion. I didn’t really think she was interested in me so I said that I was going home because I had a busy day that I wanted to start early with a bike ride, gym, then meeting up with friends to hang out nude at the pool all day. She became very fascinated with my last activity, but I was shocked that she started focusing on my penis in that environment. I explained that the activity was totally non-sexual and that I never became aroused in this situation. While I thought that would be the end of that line of questioning, she immediately said, “Wouldn’t you be embarrassed being flaccid with everyone seeing it?” I explained no because no one is really concerned with our state of arousal in these settings. Needless to say the conversation continued to focus on my penis. At the time I was trying to deflect the discussion away from my manhood, but now it is clear that she was excited at the thought of me projecting my masculinity to others including possibly herself. Maybe there is hope for us yet.


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