This might be a bit boring today as I am in a “reflective” mood as I sit here at the keyboard. I have tried to keep busy with other things but nothing seems to hold my attention very long, even trying to watch a TV program. So what is it that is pulling me out of the outer world into the strange spaces of an inner world that defies any logical analysis? Where exactly is this inner world? It seems to vast, to populated with life forms and stories to actually fit within my rather small body, small that is in comparison with the average (5’10” & 190 lbs) for men. Even the biggest and tallest men couldn’t really contain the inner worlds that I get to wander through. But, I digress. As I was saying, I find myself “thinking” and “feeling” in such a manner that seems to have no connection the the physical space around me.
I guess, you could say, it began in the night while I was dreaming. I found myself wandering through scenes that almost could be considered from my past, at least in terms of an altered past. Strangely, though I was naked as usual in my dreams last night, I didn’t have any sense of being vulnerable. Old authority figures that may or may not have existed in my outer world, had strangely become supportive as though I had finally passed exams – exams of character. It felt like I had finally arrived and was judged worthy of taking my place, albeit as a freshman, among others who had passed the decades long process of initiation. When I awoke for the final time this morning, I felt strangely at peace with myself and the world.