Monthly Archives: October 2015
We’ve been in Paris for almost a day and it’s time to plan our sightseeing agenda for the day. Yes, the Musée Rodin is on the list as is La Tour Eiffel. We’ve been in Paris a fair number of times and so all of our stops will likely be repeats, well at least for the most part. There will be moments of discovery as we wander down streets not on the typical guided tour. I follow gut feeling, not a scripted guide book. It makes for interesting discoveries.
This is the first time in Paris without our children, well that is if we don’t count the hours between plane and train in August. There is no promise of sunshine or warm temperatures, so wearing clothing becomes a sensible choice versus a societal choice. At least the hotel room is warm and private. Now, it’s time to have breakfast before dressing and heading out with the camera.
In an hour from now we will be leaving Costa Natura in order to go to Málaga where we have booked a room for the night. We fly out of Málaga tomorrow morning for Paris. Sadly, this means there will be very little clothes free time for the foreseeable future. With the weather being overcast and raining, there is not much reason to stay longer. We are both ready to go home.
Ten days together at a naturist resort – it’s a first for us. I was surprised at how well it went considering that she is not, nor ever will be, a naturist at heart. She is so comfortable in her body without her clothes on that this truth is surprising, but that comfort only exists with complete strangers. The presence of family, friends, and people with whom we enjoy small contact makes a huge difference. It is at this point that feelings of vulnerability force a rush to clothing.
Going home happens with newboundaries, or rather old boundaries which become more binding. My nudity will be limited to my office and our living room at night when drapes are closed and the door is locked. The survival of relationship depends on this. Of course, I worry. Can I do this? The reward will be more willing participation in future naturist events as a couple. Is this enough?
As some who read my posts know, I have issues with depression and positive self-concept. Since rediscovering and reinvesting in naturism, there has been a decided improvement. However, naturism isn’t a cure, it is simply an honest refection of the self, one that is avoided by most for fear of what would be revealed.
Faced with the truth of our bodies, we are given a chance, a choice to be kind to the body which in the final analysis, is our only authentic possession. Humans have an urge to gather things and people which will somehow serve as a statement of worth. Designer labels, trophy memorabilia that tells others what we have done and where we have been, are presented as proofs of our worth. Rather than confront the truth about mistreating our body with gluttony and a delibating lack of fitness, we hide the body with the latest colours and fashions somehow believing that this is the only legitimate way of gathering the approval of others.
Certainly, others would hold us in the lowest esteem possible if we stand before them naked and imperfect as defined be the moguls who make billions of dollars dollars, pounds, and Euros in convincing us to hide our scars and blemishes. And if we should dare to be naked, there is a perfection template that should be adhered to – be youthful, slim, and pleasingly muscular – and even more important, provide a source of revenue for the body image industry that includes the porn industry.
BeBeing naked outside of these parameters is tolerated within gated nude communities that keep nudists out of sight of the public in what can best be described as voluntary minimum security institutions. Think of nudist resorts, ranches, campgrounds, and so on as keeping nudists locked away from the public rather than keeping the public out of these sites. Who is being protected from whom?
Yes, the edges of depression are flittering around the edges of my being in spite of my being nude outdoors. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.
To post or not to post, that is the question which rustles through my head at this time. The sun is out and has been a very close companion all day. Now in mid-afternoon, I find myself sitting partly in the shade taking a siesta pause of some sort here in the south of Spain.
But of course, the question is rhetorical as I am writing even though I am not sure what to write. The image shows where I am at this moment, off to the right side of the photo hidden from view on the pedestrian overpass I crossed on my way to buy a few more groceries. Hidden out on a patio open to all passersby who offer friendly greetings.
More sunshine today, more than yesterday, and it is celebrated with extra time by the pool. I had thought that the number of people at Costa Natura had significantly diminished because of the end of the Independence Day long weekend. However, the various sunning lawns are filled with others invested in sunshine.
Humans are strange beings. This is quite visible here in a naturist environment. Being able to spend enough time here, I am seeing responses to being nude in public fluctuate. Most days, it is as though there is little self-conscious behaviour for both men and women. Then, a number of these same people guard their nudity with a discreetly placed towel or other object. The environment hasn’t changed, so something else is at work, something that I doubt even these people could explain. If anything, they would likely deny doing what a camera would show them. After all, they are committed nudists and naturist, owners of condos in a nudist community.
Their heads believe one thing, their bodies reaffirm this ego belief, but their unconscious behaviour tells a different story. I am no different. The only problem is, I don’t readily recognize the disconnect between my conscious self and the stranger(s) that lurks beneath the thinking ego’s awareness of self. All that lets me know that one of my shadow (unconscious) aspects has manifested is the emergence of affect. Not only affect, small things done or said or communications of unconscious body language give evidence of the shadow’s presence.
Something to think about.
We woke up to glorious sunshine this morning. After yesterday’s overcast skies, the heart sang with anticipation. There is no doubt that I have descended from an ancient tribe of sun worshippers.
Once breakfast on the patio was finished, I got dressed as I had a task to complete in town, the purchase of plane tickets that will take us to Paris on the nineteenth. Upon my return, I stopped at the Costa Natura office in order to book our condo for three extra days. Then I went back to the condo to get out of my clothes. My wife was already out in the sunshine wearing her birthday suit.
It didn’t take too long to decide that relaxing by the pool would be preferable to sticking close to the condo. If the clouds returned we would simply slip into the jacuzzi. Well, the clouds returned, at least for a short time according to the sky, and we are sitting on the deck of the poolside restaurant having coffee and tea respectively with about a dozen other unclothed patrons. It’s a good time to write.
It’s raining, well at least it’s a light shower with overcast skies at the moment. It’s as good a time as any for sitting down and writing up another post. We did have a few moments of sunshine while we were at the pool and jacuzzi, enough to enjoy a hot beverage at the poolside restaurant after time spent in both jacuzzi and pool. I have to admit that I appreciate the rules against wearing swimsuits in both. It makes it that much better for the wide span of ages that use them. No coverups or sexual tittilation when there are young children, their parents, and likely a few grandparents in attendance.
It’s hard to imagine this from a North American perspective where most equate nudity with sex and public nudity with pornography. The presence of a child among naked adults, especially a naked child is seen as a 911 emergency where police and Children’s Services need to intervene, even if the adults are family. We somehow have convinced ourselves and our children that they will be scarred forever by the sight of naked adults. We teach our children not only to be afraid, very afraid of naked adults, but to fear being naked as well.
Where there is fear, when there is no real threat to safety and security, a complex has just reared its ugly face. And, there’s no reasoning with a complex.
Hiding behind clothing, defining who we are to the world through carefully selected styles and brands of clothing, is normal. Wearing clothing has long since become an issue of practicality. Yet, there is a real need for clothing and no wishful thinking will change that truth, in spite of what self-proclaimed “true nudists” assert.
I like being able to be nude at every possible instance. Yet living in Canada and being a person who enjoys being outdoors, I am faced with the reality that, laws or no laws, weather conditions demand that I protect my body from the elements. And then, because I live in Canada, there are laws and community codes that are powerful in limiting just where and when (if at all) I can be nude while in the public eye. No amount of wishful thinking will change change this truth either.
However, when weather and situation are favourable to being nude, what is it that has individuals continue to wear clothing?
Religion? Well one could say that this is a significant factor, but is it really? In my opinion, it all comes down to the individual’s personal response to their own nudity in private situations, or when others may see their nakedness. There are too many who are comfortable with their own nudity who are religious from all versions of religion.
No, I don’t think one can lay all of the blame on religion as I am certain that there are as many agnostics and atheists who suffer from being uncomfortable, sometimes very uncomfortable with nudity – their own nudity as well as the nudity of others around them. The roots of this dis-ease (unease that borders on dysfunction), will be found within a person’s first years of life.
Does this mean we have to blame the parents? Not necessarily though parents do factor into what each individual encodes deep within their own psyche about vulnerability and nudity. Each individual creates a belief system for what they perceive is necessary for their survival and well-being as defined by their immature minds. Lacking the ability to make rational decisions, they are left with creating decisions based on what can best be described as magical-thinking rationale. It’s all very complicated and one is very naive to try and reduce reasons for being uncomfortable with nudity.
A few showers have fallen during the day and the sun put in more than one extended session that was enjoyed in the public area by the sea. What is it about body freedom that is embraced in one minute like the return of sunshine, and the retreat into old belief systems that tell us that like the sun we must hide, especially if someone might recognize us. The fear of being exposed as someone not fit to belong to the collective?
Humans claim to be rational beings but are often behaving at the edges very far from conscious behaviour. There are scripts based on childhood experiences, both from the realm of magical thinking for which children are prone to adopt as reality, and the realm of parental indoctrination where at times ego survival is at risk if one doesn’t conform. In spite of what our adult minds tell us, what current experiences are telling us, we revert to our scripts at the first signs of stress.
One needs to understand that there are so many subliminal and subconscious messages at work when it comes to navigating through naturist experiences. If few scipts were encoded as a child, an adult’s experiences are weighed fairly with the result of either acceptance of the idea of engaging with naturism, or not, based the first experience’s result.
However, even when given a very positive experience, an adult burdened with negative scripts of human nudity, will have a very difficult time balancing the adult experience with unconscious messages from their childhood. Once the immediate positive experience has been left behind, the mind is quick to discount that experience with claims that nudity is just not their thing.
Of course, I may be simplifying too much something that is over complex. But at least one can begin to understand bit why someone can show so many signs of being at peace with their natural boady, yet balk at living that sense of body freedom.
Day three. The sun is fickle in its appearances today. As I woke this morning with a pesky mosquito trying to land on my ear in search of his own breakfast, there was sunshine though much of the sky was filled with cloud cover. The temperature was a chilly 16 degrees Celsius with a light breeze making its way through the garden and patio. It’s almost cool enough to put on some clothing. But, I am a stubborn person, what’s a bit of chill to put up with when one has the rare freedom of being nude in the outdoors. Passing residents of the community, though clothed as they are heading out of the gated community, smile and offer a friendly “Hola!” or “Buenos dias!”
It’s a good day for reading and writing, and soaking in the jacuzzi.