It is a strange thing, this feeling called love that pulls us into relationship with another person. Falling in love with someone who is a mystery, a being surrounded in a field of golden light, a stranger that is more god-like than human is finding oneself in the presence of the Magical Other. In our modern western world, we long with every fibre of our being that we will find ourselves in the presence of this Magical Other who will be open to receiving our hearts and souls, offering his or her heart and soul in return.
There are many stories of Romantic Love that have come to us over the history of humanity. And of them all, not one ends well. There is no way for the Magic Other to survive, and the “self” that is drawn to that “Magic Other.” Sometimes it results in literal death to the “Star Struck Lovers.” Sometimes, most often, it translates into the sense of loss of the other who has suddenly become a stranger, not the person, or should I say the “image” with whom one had fallen in love. Sadly in our times this has resulted in an increase in divorces, spousal abuse and even suicide.
There is a lot of trust needed in order to navigate one’s vulnerability and the vulnerability of one’s partner in order to learn to see the reality of the significant other, the person behind the star-struck aura that romantic love blinds us. In depth psychology, we call it withdrawing projections and owning one’s own stuff, including the contrasexual soul that we place as a burden on our significant others.
Romantic love makes for good stories and movies, but it promises one an interesting life, one filled with as many highs as lows – it all comes down to balance.