Naked Before God – Part 2
Now, it seems that I have to back up a bit here from my last post. I grew up as a Catholic Christian. Yes, I believed that there was a God and that Jesus Christ was his son, and that the Bible told the truth in spite of what I thought were contradictions. The truth is, I still believe in God or something that is god-like as the inspiration behind our human story. And yes, I believe that there was a guy called Christ and that he was the Son of God. We talked in our catechism lessons about how we were all Children of God – that’s why we call him God the Father.
As for the story that is the Bible, both Old and New Testaments, I believe that it is true. But then again, I believe that all of our words, stories and fairy tales, and even lies are rooted in truth. Whatever we say or write whether we call it fiction or non-fiction is based on the human mind, the human memory, even the stuff for which we have no personal experience. I guess the best way to describe this is to realise that we are not God and so can’t create realities that don’t exist. If they are in the mind, then they had to come from somewhere. And as I learned early, there wasn’t anywhere that existed, could exist, or had existed in which God wasn’t the creator or would be the creator whenever it should come to pass. A person has to give credit where credit is due and not be so delusional as to think he or she is one up on the Creator.
With that said, I have been wondering about a few things. For now, I will limit my wondering to the guy we have placed as the figurehead of Christianity. I use the word figurehead deliberately as what has grown over the past two thousand and so years has little to do with the life and times of Jesus Christ. Let’s start with the idea that there was a man called Jesus Christ. Let’s agree simply to save all kinds of time that he was born 2014 years ago on December 25th. There’s no point quibbling about date and time as there are more important things that are on my mind at the moment. I refuse to lose sleep over it. Now, the story has it that Mary was a single young woman who was visited by an angel who told her she was going to be the Mother of God. Unlike young women of today, young women of her day were not so naive. Becoming a mother meant becoming pregnant. That was a problem for Mary as she came from a respectable family and wasn’t about to betray her religion, her parents and even her good name just because of some guy with wings.
“Don’t worry,” said the angel, “it’s not like you have a choice, but you are going to give birth to a baby boy and you will call him Jesus.”
“Don’t I have any say in the matter?”
“Pretty much not,” was the reply the angel had for Mary.
“Why would God rape me against my will?”
“Well,” the angel tried to explain, “it won’t be rape. You know God can do all things and he can put the seed of life within you without having to have sex with you. Technically you’ll still be a virgin with your hymen still intact. That said, you better find a husband in a hurry so that the boy won’t be a bastard. There’s a good man called Joseph that God has picked out for you. Your parents will be contacted tomorrow with an offer of marriage.”
Enough with the dialogue. There are more important things to look at here. For arguments sake, Mary is pregnant with Jesus regardless of nitpicking details. Over the course of time, the baby grows in Mary’s womb, a boy baby. That means that Jesus will have an umbilical cord that connects to Mary so that he will be nourished and grow to full term. And since he is going to be a boy child, he has to have testicles and a penis. But then again, nothing in certain. Perhaps he is missing visible genitals and the only way to know his gender is via chromosomal analysis. Stuff happens. However, for arguments sake we’ll have him be a functional fully equipped male. After all, the pictures all show him with a distinctly male chest and full beard and masculine features. It’s hard to imagine and perhaps harder still to accept. Jesus had a penis and he had a scrotum with two testicles. No point in having Jesus being a freak.
Oops, it seems that I’ve upset some of you. You really had no idea that Jesus, a man born like all men, emerged from the birth canal through his mother’s vagina and entered the world with male genitals. What did you think? Did you sort of imagine that he had a body like Barbie’s Ken, no genitals at all? No it’s not sacrilegious or gross; it is the reality of being born male regardless of who was the father. You’ll just have to wrap your head around the fact that in becoming a human male, Jesus had to deal with the fact of a human body as well. He would eat, drink, grow, defecate, urinate and so on over the years until the day he was ready to have his penis circumcised like all good Jewish boys – oh yeah, you forgot he was a Jewish boy, didn’t you.
Messy stuff being circumcised, but that was apparently God’s commandment. Since Mary came from a good Jewish family as did her new husband Joseph, the knew Jewish laws based on the Old Testament (no New Testament written at this point) and lived by those laws, good laws, God’s laws. Chosen male people were circumcised and all the rest of male humanity (at least within this Holy Land where Jewish people lived) were not. Just a bit of a side note here, did you think that God said this because he couldn’t tell people apart? Seriously? Or, is it so humans could figure it out for themselves. Of course, the only way to tell would be to actually see penises, wouldn’t it. Now why would God be so perverted, so gross? We all know that penises are meant to be hidden. Any guy who shows his dick is a pervert, likely a rapist who eats babies, consorts with the devil, and loose women to boot. So, again, why circumcise the penis? Why not pierce the nose or get a tattoo on the forehead or wear a yellow Star of David sewn onto body disguising robes?
Hold on, I’m just about done here for today. There’s just a bit more to add here before leaving. Jesus lived two thousand or so years ago when the world was different. There was no porn industry making films or a quasi-porn industry using hot babes wearing as little as possible to sell the latest, brand-name desert robes or camels. People didn’t live in huge buildings with separate bedrooms and bathrooms. People lived basic lives with the minimum. Nudity was a fact, nothing that said much of anything. Yes, there were exceptions – slaves were always naked except when weather conditions were such that their owners would provide a robe so that their human property didn’t die on them. Nope, I’m not making it up. Do some research and check it out for yourself.
I will be back again with more questions and thoughts about being Naked Before God. Will you be back to listen to them? We’ll see. Oh, and in case you are still in denial, look beneath your clothing – yep, you are naked in spite of all your prayers. You still have the body the Creator gave to you.