Today is not such a good day in the grand scheme of things for me. Every once in a while I crash and find myself having to pick up the pieces and put them back together again like some senior citizen Humpty Dumpty. After two weeks of putting myself out there in a fairly active manner, I simply had run out of energy. That is one of the problems of being an introvert.
An introvert? I can almost hear the disbelief. What is with someone who claims to be a naturist, takes nude photos of himself, and at times shares them, has to do with being an introvert? Well, introversion is not about being a reclusive person. Introversion is about where energy is gained and where it is lost. Being socially active takes a lot of my energy as it does for any introvert. To recharge my batteries, so to speak, I need to find a quiet place. For an extrovert, being in a quiet place is hard work, work that takes a lot of energy. However, being in a social setting and active serves to recharge the batteries of the extrovert. Enough said about introversion and extroversion – this isn’t supposed to be a teaching session about these terms. That said, I hope that the basic idea is explained enough for the purposes of this post.
Being away from home where life is quiet, I engaged with a host of family relations on both my wife’s side of the family and my own side of the family. We even threw family friends into the mix. Whenever we did get a bit of a break from visiting and socializing, we were more often than not out for a long hike. It was an enjoyable time though it did wear down my energy reserves. Of course I am familiar with my needs for quiet time-outs, but when in these situations, I begin to feel guilty about taking these time-outs. I persuade myself to dig deep and keep going hoping that a good night’s sleep will be enough.
Now that I am at home, I don’t have to try so hard and time-out is just a few steps away. But, I somehow got caught in my own delusion that I could just keep going without the time outs.
Thankfully, my wife saw what was happening to me, saw me coasting towards a crash of spirit and energy. Seeing what was going on with me, the expectations disappeared and a sense of it’s okay to stop and rest began to be heard by me. A cup of tea together on the patio in the sunshine and now some naked time to think, read and write, finds me finally beginning the work of recharging my body, mind and soul.