I’ve turned up the furnace a little higher than normal hoping to take what feels like a deeper chill out of the air. It always seems cooler in late winter and early spring when the humidity rises, especially when there is a breeze blowing and the sun is covered by clouds. The body is a funny thing when it comes to temperatures. If it is sunny, I feel warm in my skin with temperatures around 18C (66F), but when the sun is absent, I still feel chilled with the temperature rising to 22C (72F). As I am writing this, as usual wearing only my skin, I find myself sitting taller and a bit more tense because of the coolness of the air. Perhaps this is a good thing.
Since my return to Canada, I have been doing a fair bit of thinking and writing as a way to occupy myself while the weather finally cleans up the out of doors so that I can re-engage in long walks and quiet meditative moments that are easily found in the hills and valleys of the Canadian prairies. I am trying to re-imagine my life, and in the process re-create a psychological and physiological way of being in life. In the process, I find myself re-discovering ideas, books, authors, practices and patterns that had appeared in my past at the right moments, exactly when needed. That is probably one of the biggest gifts I am getting in learning how to stop running.
And now, with that said, I have an idea for today’s poem.
Racing to Nowhere
Waking up, putting the coffee on,
sitting in a comfortable chair
with mug in hand. my mind races
travelling over years lived and unlived,
over continents visited and non-existent
through relationships of what might have been
or might someday be.
Warming up enough to emerge from beneath a cover,
risking goose bumps and the occasional shiver
I realise that I have been racing in my mind
through a universe that is all illusion.
Tell that to my mind as it heads off
on another tangent
Tell that to my heart that looks for
love in dark places
Tell that to my soul that desperately
hopes for some meaning
The race continues with triggers chasing
me down old and new paths found
within the ether of fragmentary thoughts
paths upon which no foot may ever touch
while I search for hidden treasures
those moments when I resonate with
an “Ah ha!” of recognition
knowing that a morsel of treasure
has been found.