However, we sometimes consciously choose things that hasted our own destruction. It really doesn’t matter why this happens, it only matters that it happens. I know that in my battle with depression I defiantly attempt to erase markers of my passage through life. During these periods of time I destroy photos of myself believing that when I am gone, I should really be gone and not hanging around in some photo album or on some computer. During these times I am certain that the world would be much better off with out my darkness. Little do I realise that in responding to depression in this manner, I am tilting the duality dance between Eros and Kronos in the favor of Kronos.
But as I grow more conscious of my self and my shadow, I hesitate long enough and avoid erasing more bits and pieces. The parts of the past I have already erased in earlier decades are gone forever. I erased without any thought of what others might need as evidence of my existence in their own lives. I knew less then and only knew that the darkness was too powerful. Today, the pull to Eros is stronger than the pull to Kronos. Kronos will wait knowing that I will eventually get there. But until then, I want to continue living, loving and creating.