Waiting for the dawn
Sometimes there is a real need for darkness. It is a place where we are least sure of ourselves and perhaps that is a good thing. Why do I say this? Well, more often than not, our ego gets in the way of our becoming wiser, more complete beings. In the darkness, we fall asleep and enter into a level of connection to something bigger than the boxes we put around the world and ourselves.We give up control and doors open to a universe beyond all of our imagining, a world within which we find ourselves at home – curious, isn’t it?
When we wake up to the light of a new day, when night is pushed away, we dismiss the dreams, the forebodings, the flying, the embracing of everything that is too absurd for our conscious mind to accept. We know better, or so we try to convince ourselves.
For me, there is that time in the space between night and day, when the light of the sun has yet to pierce the darkness, that I find is like a bridge between the conscious world of day, and the unconscious world of night. At this moment in time everything is. No, the preceding sentence isn’t unfinished; it says best what seems impossible to say and understand. As you can see in this image, I am there in that twilight zone of time and space where anything and everything is possible and knowable. It is a holy time when I am vulnerable, exposed to the universe without all of the armour and disguises which I wear during the waking hours of day, disguises which are too easily adopted as the essence of self.
When we are asleep in the night, we are naked whether our bodies are clothed or covered with blankets and sheets. We find ourselves in scenes and scenarios where we are participants but not the author. We are unable to hide, even from ourselves. And exposed, we come to see the shadows that make us feel uncomfortable and uneasy. We come to realise that these shadows are other faces of ourselves, denied faces that rebel against being banished. In the night, while asleep, we are stripped of our ego, our conscious control. What emerges is a rare kind of honesty which we dismiss when the light comes on moments after waking. In the light, we quickly put on our clothes to banish the lingering sense of vulnerability. But, we can’t cover up the gnawing sensation that we are still exposed, still vulnerable, and that life will discover our unease and unmask us as frauds. expose all of our warts, wrinkles, all the stains on our soul that lurk in the shadows waiting to erupt and embarrass us in the eyes of others in the world. No matter how many layers of clothing or makeup we put on, no matter whether there are designer labels or no-name brands of camouflage, we continue to feel naked, exposed, and vulnerable.